Tuesday, August 19, 2014

10 Things You Should Avoid Before Sex

While it looks like a fairly simple process, C’mon how complicated can it be if your grandfather could do it without a manual; Sexual Intercourse has often befuddled the greatest of minds. Befuddled, yes, I had to use a big word randomly to convince you of the credibility of this article.

So, sex. While you may find a bra-zillion (Get it?) articles on the internet about making your sex life only next best to Adonis and Venus after a year-long dry spell, there are rarely any that prepare you for the crucial build up to getting laid. There may be a million ways to please a woman and keep her at it, but these ten things are surely to lead to an anti-climax. (Not to be confused with aunty-climax, whatever your age preference might be.)









Worst first date ideas

Worst first date ideas
If you have reached this article by via Google, then you are already in a precarious position. Irrespective of anything, expecting an article to give you suggestions for your first date, is quite lame in itself. Despite that, here are a few howlers you should avoid.

1. Friend’s birthday party- The last place you should go on your first date. Nothing is a worse idea to break the ice with your first date than making her do it with 5 other strangers.


2. Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag- No occasion should demand such cruelty.
3. Google Hangout- Technology is replacing experiences in person, but a Google Hangout is a sure shot bullet to the head.
4. Football match with Beer and Tandoori Chicken- Because nothing spells doom better than your onion breath next to a girl frantically searching for ways to escape.
5. A Stroll In the Park- Unless you are 15. Or 65.
6. Your House- The classic line of " Your place or mine" works only in Bond movies. Unless you are the Prince of Jordan, this wouldn't work.
7. Her house- Did you not read the previous point?
8. To a Club- One usually goes to a club to puck up chicks. Taking your first date there is Hara Kiri. There is barely anyone who can maintain a sane conversation over blaring lyrics of Hookah Bar!
9. Anything to do with Friends- While you would eventually like her to have a good compatibility with your friends, the first date must be exclusive and personal.
10. Your Office- A strict no. Unless you are the CEO of Google. In which case, you wouldn't be reading this.

10 Things You Did In Your Teens

10 Things You Did In Your Teens
If your teenage was spent rummaging through copies of Mastaram and waiting for the late night edition of Just Mohabbat, then you have come to the right place. If you conveniently swapped through channels while catching glimpses of Midnight Hot on FTV at 9.30 pm, then there are 69% chances that you have done some/all of the below mentioned things.

1. Getting Adult CDs Delivered in Books - Remember the time when you had just dived into the vast and beautiful world of pornography? If you are a 90s kid in India, there sure was no way to stream that over internet. Here comes that one friend to the rescue, we all had. Borrow a book from him and he’d be surely slipping in that precious CD of soft porn in it.

2. Strategic Placement of Channels - There wasn’t a better way to explain ‘a narrow escape’, than when your dad is about to walk in on you watching Baywatch, but you manage to switch channels at the right moment. The strategic nestling of the FTVs and English Movie Channels- between an Astha TV and Discovery, is something we have all done as teens!

3. Fraandship Request - What was it before these suave moves to take her out for a dinner or a movie? Dress up in your best clothes, try to look cool while doing so, and approach the girl with a lot of courage and ask her to be friends with you.

4. Watercooler by the Stairs - If you didn’t spend some of your school days along the watercooler, waiting aimlessly for an extra glass of water as the ladies took the stairs- you are a nerd. The boring kind.

5. Fantasize About School Teacher - C’mon we have all done it!

6. Discussed The Menstrual Cycle at Length - The only thing more complicated that figuring out how the mentstrual cycles worked in women, is betting money on Dhoni’s overseas form. Only Ramanujam is known to have understood the concept at the first go.

7. Copied a Movie Star’s Hair Style - From John Abraham’s macho look to Shah Rukh Khan’s boy-next-door avatar. We have tried it all in our teens!

8. Used a Movie Dialogue to Impress a Girl - “Hi. I am Rahul. Naam to suna hoga!”- Enough said. (Replace Rahul with your name, and in case your name is derived from a flower, God or dance form- reduce it by half the letters and add an ‘s’”. Like a Champalal Yadav must have said –“ Hi. I am Champs. Naam to suna hoga!”.

9. The First Experience of Buying Condoms - It is very difficult to forget that first experience of buying a condom. 100 bucks says that you bought 5 other absolutely unrequired things from the chemist before you quickly asked him to slip a packet of condoms in! And the fact that you skipped 5 medical shops to go to the one, where you were absolutely sure there was no chance of bumping into someone you knew!

10. The ‘Non-Veg’ Forward - How adult jokes got slotted in the category of Non-Veg Humour, we will never know! But we are all guilty of forwarding an adult joke, we lifted from a website( waiting for the porn to load) or a magazine ( at the hair dresser’s). Which one was your favorite? Now, it’s your turn to pass this article around like one.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

DISCREET PACKAGING SAMPLES


PACKAGING SO DISCREET, EVEN MR HOLMES CAN'T DEDUCE ITS ELEMENTS! 


BOYS & GIRLS, LADIES & GENTLEMEN AND ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS.
You kept asking us, If I shop from IMbesharam.com, how will my package arrive. Well we got our warehouse team together to click some pictures of actual packages that were shipped over the last week so you can see how your order will arrive. 
We have partnered with world class shippers Fedex,UPS,USPS and BlueDart & Aramex. Through an efficient & connected network, your package will arrive to you in a Fedex/UPS padded package. There would be no indication outside about the contents of the package. The shipping label will say as shipped by & from 'Shipping Department, Happy Birds Inc, Florida/Georgia USA' so there will be no mention of the site imbesharam.com or the company Besharam. Rest assured your concerns are our concerns, so you can relax and shop at ease, we got your back.
While we don't have the picture of the delivery guy who will show up at your door (dont worry he will be in Bluedart uniform and not Besharam outfit) and yeah don't expect Sunny Leone to come in either (you can see more of her on our facebook page and youtube page) but we can assure you that Mr courier guy will be well behaved, will hand your package to you professionally and he will have no idea how super precious and super awesome its contents have been.
Do share your feedback and thoughts after the packages are received. We look at continuously improving our standards and being of better service to you as we can.
 
 

 

TOP 5 CUSTOMER CONCERNS - RESOLVED!




HELLO BESHARAM VISITOR,

We hear many of you have questions and concerns on the legality of purchasing 'certain' products
on our site, 
www.imbesharam.com and if it can or may cause any trouble or embarrassment to you.
Well let us set the record straight. We will line up your concerns one by one and answer them to our
best knowledge. Note: our knowledge has been arrived at after consulting two extremely experienced
lawyers in Mumbai, a customs consultant and a highly qualified tax professional/CPA in Delhi.

CONCERN #1- IS IT LEGAL TO SHOP FOR SEX TOYS FROM WWW.IMBESHARAM.COM

ANSWER: WRONG QUESTION.
First, let us address the fact that we DO NOT sell any sex toys. What we sell is a classy collection of products that can be used by adults for pleasure & relief, either in person or with their partner. A bunch of products that we carry in the Adult category section are merely household electronics that are used by adults for performing various functions like neck massage, head massage, ear massage, feet massage, back massage and hand massage. The shape and forms of some of these products are made to serve a dual purpose and adults derive pleasure by using them in multiple applications that they like or choose to. That products is not considered a SEX TOY. It is merely a multiple application apparatus. We have carefully selected the products that actually get classified under this category.
Explanation: Under the Indian Penal Code, 1860, Section 292 prohibits the sale of obscene objects. A magazine with nude pictures of women will be considered obscene and so will a DVD which has a XXX movie in it. However a lingerie packaging which has a model who is posing the lingerie that is inside it, is not the objective product but the lingerie is and as long as the picture of the model is NOT lascivious and shows NO nudity, it is not considered obscene under the rule of law. We have researched the Indian Laws and the import & export rules and regulations for a substantial amount of time to finalize what products are eligible to be imported into India. After careful consideration of all factors, we have showcased ONLY those products in our store (in.imbesharam.com) that are fully compliant with the import-export rules in India. We take full responsibility of the products we sell, so you, the customer does not have to worry about it after having placed the order online. We export our products from US, import them ourselves in India, pay import duties & taxes and clear customs, and bring your package to your door.
For more information Click here


CONCERN #2- WILL I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CUSTOMS KNOWING MY INFORMATION? 

ANSWER: NOT A SINGLE WORRY.
To ensure your privacy we import them in our Indian entity name, so your information is NOT disclosed at time of import. We handle and take care of the complete logistics cycle, so after you have made the purchase, you can relax and plan your event, while we go to work and make sure your order is packaged securely, shipped reliably, handled discreetly and delivered timely.
The price of the product you see on our site includes all duties & taxes that needs to be paid, upon import and distribution, to the Indian government. About 50% of the product price goes towards customs & import taxes, brokerage fees, distribution charges, storage fees, local taxes which may include Octroi etc depending on your local destination. There are NO sales taxes owed, since you have ordered them online from a US company. 
For more information 
Click here

CONCERN #3- WILL THE PRODUCTS ARRIVE TO MY ADDRESS IN A SAFE AND PRIVATE MANNER?

ANSWER: SURELY WILL.
We have a custom logistics process in place for our customers in India and around the world. Because we understand your need for privacy, we put an extra effort to ensure that your order is packaged securely, shipped reliably, handled discreetly and delivered timely. If you prefer the package not arrive at your house or work, you can choose to have it wait for you at the closest courier company's local office. We can make that happen when you make the appropriate selection in the shopping cart before checkout.   We have partnered with world class shippers Fedex,UPS,USPS and BlueDart & Aramex. Through an efficient & connected network, your package will arrive to you in a Fedex/UPS padded package. There would be no indication outside about the contents of the package. The shipping label will say as shipped by & from 'Shipping Department, Happy Birds Inc, Florida/Georgia USA' so there will be no mention of the site imbesharam.com or the company Besharam. Rest assured your concerns are our concerns, so you can relax and shop at ease, we got your back.
For more information 
Click here See pictures of our Warehouse here


CONCERN #4- WILL MY CREDIT/DEBIT CARD BE SAFE/SECURE WHEN I SHOP ATWWW.IMBESHARAM.COM?

ANSWER: ABSOLUTELY YES.
Our site uses 128 bit SSL certification and is Level 1 PCI compliant which means your card information is encrypted & secure and never stored on our server. We host our website on Shopify's (About shopify: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shopifyservers (www.shopify.com) ) which is one of North America's largest and trusted ecommerce solution for over 60,000 merchants worldwide. They use the highest level of security in the shopping a cart which is used to process millions of dollars of sales every month through their network. Here is a link to their website and security details.
http://www.shopify.com/tour/shopping-cart
http://www.shopify.com/tour/ecommerce-hosting
We have partnered with one of world's largest payment processors called FIRST-DATA (America's largest merchant processor processing over $200billion every month) for our merchant account processing which allows us to accept payment in Indian Rupees thereby you dont have to pay any conversion fees. The name you will see on your statements will say 'Happy Birds Inc'
For more information 
Click here
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CONCERN #5-HOW DO I MAKE A PAYMENT FOR MY ORDER IF MY DEBIT/CREDIT CARD DOES NOT GO THROUGH?

ANSWER: NO PROBLEM.
We have encountered several instances where a payment has not gone through at the checkout stage. Before we address and share the alternate payment options, we want to make sure of a few things that you have already checked-
1. That your card is a DEBIT or CREDIT CARD with a VISA/MASTERCARD/AMERICAN EXPRESS logo on it.
2. That your card has an expiration date and that it has NOT expired yet
3. That your card has a CVV code in the back (three digits for VISA/MASTER) and 4 digits in the front for AMEX
4. That you have available credit /funds in your account to make that purchase
5. And lastly if you have a CARD that says INTERNATIONAL , use that FIRST. However if all above fails, you can make a payment using NETBANKING (
instructions here) or by purchasing a E-Giftcard fromGiftCardsIndia and using that to pay for your order on our store. The gift cards never expire, can be regifted and the best part about this is that you do not leave any trace on our site and your financial transaction is happening with a normal Departmental store type Indian entity. We plan to add a network of various other payment options shortly including Suvidha and ItzCash. Sign up on our Facebook page to stay updated with these announcements. For more information Click here

 

SUNNY LEONE - BESHARAM OF THE YEAR (TRAILER)




BESHARAM SUNNY OR BESHARAM RANBIR.. WHO IS MORE BESHARAM?

We asked this to our facebook fans and all of they voted hands down - Sunny Leone. While Ranbir Kapoor is the hot favorite of Bollywood and is definitely setting female hearts to skip a beat with his smashing good looks, its Sunny that stole the hearts and of course many other parts of the male audience. She apparently is still the favorite muse of all online, print and TV media, where they discuss everything about her from when she lands in Mumbai to what she wore on Tuesday to the recent news where her husband who is now making his Bollywood entry. Obviously we all are wanting and panting for her (not that obviously) and it sure does catch our eye when we see a mention of Sunny. So much so that a 'sunny side up' is a slang to say she has got big knockers in the urban circle. Predicting the mass curiosity about Sunny in India, the founders of IMbesharam.com signed her to be the face of the brand of Besharam, India's #1 Adult Lifestyle Webstore. Now that the site has gone live, you will get to check out some of the most innovative products for couples and single folks to use behind closed bedroom doors to enhance the pleasure of love making and to bring their fantasies to life. See Sunny in the Besharam commercial and the new too hot for TV commercial - Indian Bachelor Party gone Wild!
While Sunny is busy busy in bollywood making more movies that she did in her 10year adult business career, nobody could have imagined what fate had in plan for her. She managed to enthrall Indian TV audience so immensely that it catapulted her to the #1 searched person in 2012 in India (as reported by Google India). She has handled her career very well, in face of extreme criticism and harsh prejudgement by several voices in India, she is still here going strong and doing well. Extremely well managed Bollywood PR wink wink Daniel Weber.
And Ranbir..Oh the charming, down to earth, very versatile and an extremely good looking person both inside and out, he is currently riding the waves of popularity both in India and overseas. His acting, choice of movies, dancing and on screen personna is something every girl desires for and every guy aspires for. He is here to stay, and definitely holding his own very well in front of the rigid Khan trio who already have a die hard fan following in India and abroad. Now with his new movie, Besharam, he is cast as a wacky, streetsmart, shameless but a hero inside type cool dude. The director Abhinav Kashyap has come up with a great plan and script for Besharam, the trailer which just released world wide also caused quite a stir amongst Ranbir Kapoor's fan following. The movie also stars Pallavi Sharda and is set to release on Oct,2 2013. Is that Gandhi Jayanti? Well the message is loud and clear. Gandhiji fought for freedom, and Besharam means being FREE, being REAL and being yourself, no matter what anybody thinks or has to say.
Cheers to another fellow Besharam.
 
 
 
 

BESHARAM MOVIE OR BESHARAM WEBSTORE?

 



WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT RANBIR AND SUNNY WOULD HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON?
Well as many find out now, they do and that is the brand/title they are associated with - BESHARAM. Besharam is the name of a Online Adult Lifestyle Webstore based in US and aimed at Indian audiences worldwide (pretty neat you'd think, Besharam is what a Besharam does) with Sunny Leone as the face of the brand and Besharam is also the name of the new movie that stars Ranbir Kapoor and Pallavi Shardha along with Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh, directed by Abhinav Kashyap, who had earlier directed Dabang which became a sleeper blockbuster. 
This news of a conflict of audience came as a shock to some and a surprise to some, while others like us chuckled as to whats the big deal? We all are Besharam's , just nobody speaks about it out there, how else do you explain the 1.3 billion population. We all have a favorite past time and not many people are willing to renounce that pleasure for other worldly achievements. So why this big noise?
A silly oversight by the news media that broke this news which claims that it was shocked to see this happen and that Besharam the website is stealing the thunder of Besharam the movie, here is some food for thought. 
First see attached link: http://www.mid-day.com/entertainment/2012/aug/060812-Sunny-Leone-excited-about-Besharam-site.htm. you broke the news last August same time that Sunny is very excited about her new endorsement and cant wait for it to go LIVE.
Second, Besharam brand was conceptualized in 2010 in the US and is a trademark owner under multiple classes in the US including online retail, movie, film and entertainment. The domain was registered much before the movie name Besharam was announced and the marketing for Besharam, the web store had already commenced in Feb'2012 when the producers of Besharam were fighting over rights over the movie. The facebook page has about 150k fans, and its youtube channel has over 400k views So technically, factually and obviously, what you claim is quite incorrect and a disservice to your audience.
Third, we are very delighted you decided to feature our co-incidences, but you may want to get your facts right. It just requires you to click a few buttons, read some articles, check out the social networks and contact a reliable source to get the facts, after that you do what you are good at. We would love to see more of freedom of press, but only if it is to impress.
Here is the link to that news article and also attached is a snapshot of the same article in print.